Take This, H8rz

So despite all my “friends'” lack of faith in me, I have managed to keep my betta alive for a matter of months.  I mean, I do work at a saltwater fish store….have some faith people. Anyways, since a lot of people in my dorm have had some trouble keeping various fishes alive, I took it upon myself to hand down some wisdom and advice on how to ensure a long prosperous life for your aquatic companion.

1)Pet them AS MUCH as possible.  They love constant contact

2)Air is intoxicating for them, its like smoking weed for these little mofos.  (Just don’t let them get to0 baked…in the sun…) ba dum tss

3)Popcorn is a healthy alternative to fish food.  I mean fish food is basically ground up fish, and you can’t just do that. It’s like…the rules of feminism! Or PETA.

4)If they won’t jump through a mini hoop, keep trying.

5)If they make their tank dirty fast, refuse to clean it.  They made their bed, let them lie in it.

6)If your fish is sick, refer to #1.

7)Throw in some food dye if they ever look pale.  Odds are they’re sick, but looks are all that matter, right?

8)If they die, RESPECT. Have a ceremony because you know that was your only friend on lonely drunk nights when no one would hold your hair back for you.

So hopefully y’all learned some important facts to being a responsible guardian of your current or soon to be aquatic pet.

N

PS.  take a gander at this bad boy-getting bitches & making money

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