Pros and Cons of Your Major

Dear Loyal Followers,

I’m writing this letter to first congratulate you on following the best blog out there. You have good taste, my friend. But secondly, I am writing to my fellow undeclared college students because like me, you have no idea what you want to do with your life. Which is ok! Assuming you are looking forward to finding the major of your dreams and leading a financially secure future. As for me, I’m banking on marrying rich or making millions with my famous twitter. Anyway, enough about me and my MILFesque dreams. You’re welcome in advance for creating this almost all-inclusive list about pros and cons regarding your major. Use it as you will, dearest undecided peers.

Business

  • Pro: Enough credibility to get that approval from your oh-so-conservative grandfather, but also enough time to get blacked out on the weekends.
  • Con: Approx. 99.4% of college kids major in some sort of business. Tough competition, bro.

Biology/Chemistry/Physics/Some other science

  • Pro: You probably want to be a doctor or scientist or help people in some way (vom) and society rewards these types of people, so chances are, you’re going to be making upwards of 100k a year. Note: if your career path is marrying rich like mine is, these guys are perfect gold digging marrying material.
  • Con: Kiss your prime goodbye and say hello to the library because this is where you’re going to be spending the majority of the next 8-12 years.

Engineering/Computer Science 

  • Pro: The world is your oyster and you are the pearl, my friend. Some day, Facebook, Google, Microsoft or any other multi-million dollar company is going to be in the palm of your hand-the same hand that’s going to be pulling you up to the top of the working world.
  • Con: See above. Be ready to bust your ass, because without working 25 hours a day you’re just going to be another nerd in a factory is middle-of-nowhere-America.

Environmental Studies

  • Pro: You care about the world and the future, which is totally chic right now.
  • Con: Are there really any jobs that want environmental studies degrees right now? Maybe ask some of those grassroots hippies that sell granola out of old Toms boxes.

Communication

  • Pro: You’re in for a fun time in college. Comm pretty much means during the day you’re going to be catching up on you’re favorite TV shows and at night you’re going to be drinking to majoring in comm. Cheers to that, bitches!
  • Con: Good luck trying to explain to anyone that you are anything more than an air-headed ditz living off daddy’s Mastercard.

Arts

  • Pro: See Comm. Only not really because you’re probably an art freak. So really, there is no pro unless you plan on being a thick-rimmed-glasses-and-skinny-jeans-wearing hipster
  • Con: All your money is going to go to school and supplies, but unlike science majors, you’re never going to be compensated. EVER.

Math

  • Pro: You’re a fucking genius.
  • Con: Some people might see you as a stuck-up math nerd, which you probably are. Also, even if you’re not, the majority of your friends are.

English

  • Pro: No matter what anyone else says, you are talented. Everyone can think they can write, but not everyone can. If anyone knows this, it’s you. If you major in English, you better love poetry, Shakespeare and dense literature. But whatever floats your boat, no judgement.
  • Con: There’s not many job options for book worms, but if all else fails you can always write a tell-all book about your failures and how to find love. People eat that stuff up.

So there it is. If I forgot your major, it’s probably not important. So once again, you’re welcome in advance. Just call me Mar the Advisor. Oh, and I do accept tips.

 

M

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